No Place For The Likes Of Us
by Ingram
Summary: A misfiring Shokk Attack Gun,Chaos sorcerer,and warp storm all come together to send Warlord Rashbag Flashteef and his boyz to a strange new world. Can the Orks survive in a land without war long enough to get back to a propa' scrap? We'll see...
1. Ere we go

_I don't own Warhammer and I don't own My Little Pony. There. I said it._

"Frag 'em 'ta Zog boyz!" Warlord Rashbag Flashteef roared, leveling his snazzgun in the general direction of a mob of chaos cultists and letting loose with all three weapon bashed into its frame; a twin linked big shoota, Space marine heavy bolter and Imperial guard auto cannon roaring to life, their recoil nearly twisting the weapon out of the hulking Orks hand as they chewed through the packs of screaming chaos fanatics.

The green tide of Orks surrounding their boss roared their approval of this act of slaughter before doing their best to imitate and outdo their boss. Rashbag grinned an ugly grin that exposed a wide mouthful of fanged teeth.

No one could outdo his dakka, and he knew it. But the boyz could try all they wanted; it gave them something to aspire to. The roar of chain-axes caught his attention and he followed the sound to find a swarm of Khornate berserkers charging some of his nobs, screaming to their dark god and brandishing their gore-stained weapons as they scrambled across the rocky ground in front of Rashbags capital fortress. The burly nobs hefted their two handed big choppas and clanking power-klaws before letting loose with a joyous shout and cutting their way into the horde of Chaos marines.

"Dat's it lads! Get stuck in!" Rashbag exhorted his followers, resting his ramshackle gun across his shoulders as he surveyed the sprawling battlefield to see how they were faring. A double handful of stormboyz streaked by overhead on jets if greasy black smoke, chanting "'Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!" loud enough to be heard over the roar of their sputtering rocket packs, while a battlewagon was crushing it's way to the heart of the Chaos forces, deffrolla caked in gore as it slewed to halt to disgorge a mob of nobs clad in rusted, bulky mega armor, Rashbag laughing as he watched them smash into a squad of bewildered Chaos space marines. He heard the heavy metal gates of his fortress begin to slide open, and he turned to see that the Mek-boyz had finally gotten their act together and sent out the stompas and gargants. Rashbags grin grew wider as the ramshackle Ork walkers let loose with the heavy artillery built into their frames.

"You spikey-boyz picked da' wrong Ork ta' mess wiv!" Rashbag shouted at the reeling Chaos troops, his hearts filled with pride for himself and his boyz, "'Dis 'ere planet belongs to da Dictata uv Dakka! Which is me, ya gits!" To emphasize the point, he blazed away with his shoota' again, the wildly aimed shots whizzing over the heads of his own troops before sparking harmlessly off of a chaos dreadnought.

The warlord felt something tugging on his pants leg and looked down to find Monty, his Gretchin aide-de-camp, looking nervously up at him.

"Wot da you want runt?" Rashbag growled, narrowing his red eyes as he glared down at the haggard looking grot.

" 'Er, beggin; yer pardon, my lord, but da bosses wanted a word about 'ow the scraps goin'."

"Can't 'dey see?" Rashbag incredulously asked, gazing down on the battlefield where the ork forces were driving the army of Chaos invaders before them in an increasingly panicked rout; big gunz and looted imperial artillery were pounding into their flanks while the center was sagging under the weight of a green tide of slugga and choppa wielding boyz supported by clanking, buzz-saw armed ranks of Dreadnaughts and Killa Kans.

"Er' boss, I thinks they was meaning more of a big-picture thing. Y'know, Warlordy stuff."

Rashbag sighed in defeat; sometimes being warlord wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Reluctantly, he turned away from the battlefield, and, after giving Monty an affectionate boot to the gut, stalked back down the rocky hillside to the small valley where his commanders and underbosses had gathered.

Some of his good spirits returned as he looked at the array of looted humie vehicles and technology drawn up around his field headquarters. Only recently had his Waaagh! come to this system, launching itself from the heart of his empire when it was discovered just what a treasure was hidden within the heavily fortified human system next door; a Departmento Munitorum supply system, every planet stocked with enough ordinance, equipment and supplies to keep the local Imperial Guard regiments fighting for a decades. Rashbag smiled happily as he remembered the day he'd tortured that little tid-bit out of an Eldar scouting party his fly-boyz had shot down over one of the worlds in his territory. After that it had been just a few days to gather his fleets and launch an all-out Waagh! to relieve the humies of their stockpiles. He's lost dozens of ships and thousands of boys breaching the defenses, but it was definitely worth it; his lads had looted enough hardware and supplies to keep his Waagh going for years, and more warbands showed up every day, eager to grab a piece of the pie or simply wanting to get on the big scrap they knew was brewing, as Rashbag prepared to unleash his new toys on the neighboring systems. But of course, no Ork could have a good time for long, it seemed, and a massive warp storm had suddenly built up around the newly conquered solar system, cutting Rashbag off from the rest of his empire and bringing forth a fleet of Chaos raiders; either they'd come because they wanted the supplies themselves and though the Orks easy picking, or they'd simply thought they'd be facing the same weak resistance from the handful of Imperial Navy and Guard units the green skins had annihilated. Either way, they were going to be disappointed.

"So wot do you gits want?" Rashbag asked, as he swaggered into the captured mobile command vehicle his meks had given him after they'd captured and "orkified" it. The new red paint job really did do it wonders…

"Well, sir, I's just a bit curious about 'da overall stategeric situation." One of the assembled warbosses answered, puffing out the heavily be-medaled chest of his(by Ork standards) immaculate dress uniform.

Rashbag eyed the Warboss suspiciously; his name was Orvin Tankcrusha, and he hailed form the Ork clan known as the Blood-Axes. Alone amongst the Ork clans, the Blood-Axes made a conscious effort to imitate the humans, both in their sense of fashion and their alarming habits to treat warfare as serious business, rather than the best party since the invention of fungus beer (an event passed down through Orkish oral tradition as one of the greatest days of Ork history, and one all Orks venerated with a fervor other races might reserve for a religious holiday), naturally this led the other Orks to regard the Blood-Axes with a mixture of disdain and mistrust. Rashbag was a Badmoons Clan Ork, renowned for being among the most heavily armed of Ork clans, by virtue of also being the richest; Badmoons grew more teeth than other Orks, and since Orks used their own shed teeth as currency, the coffers of the Bad Moons were always bulging with the green-skins peculiar dental currency, which they loved to spend on the best war gear and heaviest weaponry.

Rashbag opened his mouth to answer the Blood-Axes' question, but before he could speak, bolter fire erupted outside the heavily armored shell of the command vehicle, and an Orkish voice shouted,

"CHAOS BOYZ IS 'ERE!"

Instantly, the Orkish commanders sprang into action, drawing weapons and piling out the heavy doors to get into the fight going on outside. Dozens of chaos marines were surrounding the command center, pouring forth from warp portals torn into reality while their demon infused bolters worked a horrible slaughter amongst the surprised Ork defenders.

Rashbag bellowed in fury as he saw some of his best Nob bodyguards scythed down by heavy bolter fire, and charged full tilt at the red and silver armored Chaos space marine wielding the heavy weapon.

"Elazriel! Watch your flank!" one of the other traitor _Astartes_ shouted, pointing at Rashbag with a crozious in the shape of an eight pointed star. The heavy gunner whirled around to fid Rashbag nearly on top of him and lashed out with his skull-bedecked bolter; the demon possed weapon seemed to laugh as it made contact with the huge ork, sending him reeling backwards with far more force than the quick blow could possibly have possessed.

"You'll pay for 'dat, humie!" Rashbag roared, unslinging his snazzgun as the Chaos marine lined the warlord up with his weapons muzzle.

"I got 'em for ya boss!" a Big Mek shouted, leaping between Rashbag and his opponent before leveling his Shokk Attack Gun and bringing its bizarre firing mechanism spinning to life.

"Oi! Zogbits! I told ya ta' never fire 'dat fing while I's around!" Rashbag roared, leaping forward to tackle the Mek before he had a chance to fire the horribly unstable weapon. But it was too late, and the Big Mek squeezed the firing lever, opening a portal to the warp itself five feet in front of their faces.

The Chaos marine who carried the crozious had seen the Orks preparing to fire, and he roared a dark incantation which sent bolts if eldritch lighting streaking towards them, just as Zogbits had begun to fire his weapon; the two opposing manipulations met head on, and the results were…dramatic.

The small hole in the warp normally ripped open by the Shokk Attack Guns mechanisms grew into a maelstrom suspended in mid-air, crackling with unstable warp power that quickly sucked Zogbits straight through it, screaming at the top of his lungs. Warlord Flashteef leapt back and wrapped his muscled arms around a strut that stabilized the massive command vehicle, before clinging on for dear life as the miniature warp-vortex began pull in anything near it with the force of a cyclone.

The chaos marine with the heavy bolter dashed backwards to the side of his comrade who wielded the dark crozious,

"What's happening my Apostle?" he asked, shouting to be heard over the screaming wind that was beginning to whip through the small valley,

"The beast's weapon and my castings are reacting with the warp storm! We can't stay here!" The Dark Apostle keyed the voxcaster in his helm; "Word Bearers! Retreat!" his screeching voice sounded through the com pieces of his host, "Retreat through the portals!"

As the Chaos marines retreated back into their sanctuaries in the warp, the Orks they had not cut down were being sucked into the swirling vortex; Nobs, boyz, screaming Gretchin, Trukks laden with weaponry and supplies, a mob of Evil Sunz warbikers that purposefully ran their machines into the maw of the vortex yelling in sheer joy as they were sucked into the unknown, a pair of fighta-bommaz plucked straight form the skies above, Rashbags' personal battlewagon and a few errant squigs were all plucked off the ground and sent spiraling into the unknown.

And through it all, Rashbag still clung gamely to the side of the command vehicle.

"Boss! 'Elp! 'Elp! I don't wanna die!"

Rashbag looked up in time to see Monty being sucked out if the command vehicle, still desperately clinging unto a piece of broken railing. Rashbag reached out with one massive hand and plucked the wailing Grot out of the air with one hand, before holding on like a vice grip.

As Monty breathed a sigh of relief and Rashbag clung onto the strut for dear life, a maintenance hatch just above the Warlords head slid back to reveal a dimly lit access way.

" S' about time ya got me outta 'ere ya squig-brained…" Rashbag started to growl, before finding his presumed rescuers to be Warboss Tankcrusha and a pair of his Blood-Axe Nobs, all of them grinning malevolently down at him.

Grasping their intentions immediately, Rashbag roared,

"You's bloody backstabbing Blood-Axe gits! I'll frag ya ta bits, ya Arseholesssss…"

The Warlords final curses were lost to the vortex as Tankcrusha brought his immaculately polished jackboot down on Rashbag's fingers, sending the Warlord and his Gretchin slave hurtling into to the twisting nether of the warp vortex.

"Ohh…zog…I got bits hurtin' in places I's didn't even know I 'ad…" Zogbits muttered, when he found he remembered how to speak. The Big Mek was currently entangled in the remnants of his Shokk Attack Gun which had found a way to wrap itself around his body during the turbulent trip through the warp that deposited him…Zogbits blinked, realizing that his current view of his surroundings consisted of the launch tube of the Shokk Attack Gun. The Mek groaned as his senses were assailed by the smell of the terrified Snotlings the weapon used for ammunition. He managed to work his hands and arms free from whatever workings of his weapon they'd been trapped in and then tore his head free of its foul-smelling prison. Zogbits groaned again, thus time in relief, as warm sunlight streamed across his face. He opened his eyes and saw…a very large pair of Squig-blood colored Ork boots, one jagged, rusty metal toe cap tapping the grassy ground impatiently.

The Big Mek looked up from where he lay on the ground to see the looming figure of Warlord Flashteef looking down at him.

"'Ello Zogbits. 'Avin a bit of trouble, are ya?"

" Er…yeah boss."

"Well, by all means, let me 'elps ya!" Rashbag reached down and lifted the Big Mek to his feet by his collar, ignoring the extra weight of the smashed Shokk Attack Gun still wrapped around Zogbits' body, "So tell me…" the Walord began, brushing dirt off of Zogbits' oil-stained coveralls, "What wos dat one fing I told you's nevah' ta' do?"

Zogbits thought, hard, for a few moments, before realization hit him, and he knew that all of his aches and pains were about to seem very minor.

"Fire me Shokk Attack Gun when you's around…"

"And wot did ya' do, Zogbits?" Rashbag ominously prompted,

"Fired me Shokk Attack Gun when you was around."

Rashbag nodded, before letting go of Zogbits'collar and bringing his ham-sized fist crashing into the Meks gut.

"You stoopid zoggin' grot! You's just cost me me 'ole bloody empire!" Rashbag chucked the Big Mek to the ground and proceeded to apply a generous helping of boot to his torso.

"Boss!" Monty yelled, doing his ineffective best to haul the Warlord away from the hapless Big Mek , straining away with both spindly arms on Rashbags flowing overcoat, "Boss, if 'ya stomps him we won't 'ave no way of gettin' back home! 'E's da only one wot can build ships an' Tellyporta's, boss!"

Warlord Flashteef, lost in bloodlust, didn't even seem to hear his Grethcin's warnings as he lined up a kick to the Mek's forehead. Thinking quickly, Monty came up with the one thing that the Rashbag might hear over his bellowing fury, and shouted at the top of his lungs;

"_Boss! I fink yer Snazzguns broke!"_

"WOT?" Rashbag demanded, panic filling his voice as he whirled around so fast he sent Monty crashing into Zogbit's armored chest. He snatched up his massive weapon from the ground, where it had fallen during his rampage, and inspected it carefully, "Where? Where's it broke?"

"Er…" Monty stood up, shaking his head and hoping the starts dancing in the corners of his vision would go away soon, "I'm not sure…it's just somefings wrong. Warp travel 'as a negative effect on 'da workin' of shoota's, I've been told." Monty explained, with a meaningful look over at Zogbits,

"Er…oh yeah!" The Mek said, catching on as he spat out broken teeth, " 'Der's some delicate mechanisms in da gubbins wot can go get all turned around. I kin take a look if ya like." He offered, as he pulled himself out from the last broken bits of his Shokk Attack Gun, broken bones already being mended by the Ork's remarkable healing abilities.

Rashbag fixed a suspicious look upon his Gretchin slave, and Monty gulped. The Warlord was notoriously shrewd, for an Ork, and the spindly grot began to have visions of being on the bad end of a test-firing of Flashteefs' shoota. Flashteef however, proved to be a very shrewd Ork indeed.

"Fine 'den, Mek-Boy." He growled, stripping the crude ammunition hopper off the side of his Snazzgun, "You's better 'ope you can get it in orda' in an hour, boy, or I'll finish wot I started." He growled, dropping the weapon in front of the kneeling Mek, "And you'd best not try an' 'improves' it any, yeah?"

Zogbits nodded slowly, before carefully picking up the heavy weapon from the ground and prying open an access plate with a screwdriver he fished out of one of his pockets, "You got it boss!"

Rashbag grunted, before turning away from the Big Mek and surveying their surroundings. "C'mere Monty!" he snapped, pointing one gnarled finger at the ground next to him.

"Yes your dakka-ness?" Monty asked, sidling cautiously over to the Warlords side. Without uttering a word, Rashbag snatched the smaller orkoid off the ground by the neck held his squirming body at eye level,

"Iffen you's eva' try those sneaky little grot tricks on me again, Monty, I'll break ya in 'arf 'an eat yer legs in fronta, ya. Got it?" Rashbag snarled, his hoarse voice reduced to a whisper, 

"Yeah Boss!" Monty gasped, as Rashbag loosened his grip, "But…" confusion cut through the terror for a moment, and the Gretchin asked, "If ya' knew it was a trick boss, 'den why'd ya let Zogbits go?"

"What are ya', stoopid? We needs a Big Mek ta' build us a spaceships an fings like 'dat. Now I might 'ave forgot dat in 'da heat 'uv 'da moment, but long term, we need 'ol Zogbits alive, fer all 'dat E's a crazy 'git 'E's da best Mek boy we got." Rashbag unceremoniously deposited Monty back unto the hard ground, "I's will admit yer little trick provided me with a good way 'ta gets outta killin' 'im though. If I gave up on me own, I'da looked like a right squig-brain in fronta da boyz. Can't 'ave dat can we?" Rashbag surveyed the motley collection of Orks the warp vortex had deposited in the strange clearing, tacking stock of his forces and making a mental list of whose head he might have to kick in, "Politics Monty. Bein' da Warlord is all 'bout politics." Setting his hands on the twin holsters attached to his heavy belt, Flashteef swaggered off into the mob, bellowing loudly and kicking random Orks as he asserted his control.

Monty stared after him, rubbing his sore neck and wondering how he'd gotten himself into this mess until he heard Flashteef shout;

"Monty! Get yer useless scrawny arse ovah' 'ere! I's need a boy wot can count past ten!"

Slowly, Monty stood up, before breaking into a dash to catch up to Rashbag.

Little did the Orks know that they were being watched, and had been since they'd arrived in this new land.

"Twilight? What _are_ those things?" Rainbow Dash asked, the normally loudmouthed Pegasus lowering her voice to a barely audible whisper.

"I told you Dash, I have no idea!" the purple Unicorn whispered back, trying to hunker lower to the ground as one of the green skinned creatures stomped past the thicket of bushes she and Rainbow dash had hidden in when the sky had erupted into a crackling, sickly pink miasma that began to vomit forth both the green skinned creatures and an array of strange metal contraptions the likes of which nopony could even imagine.

Rainbow Dash's eyes grew fearful as the true implication of what Twilight was saying sank in; if the most well-read, intelligent pony she knew couldn't even venture a guess about the origins of these creatures…Dash's thought went back to the insane, twisted storm that seemed to have brought these creatures forth unto Equestria. She knew it had obviously been no normal storm, not even one created by nature instead of by ponykind, but what if…it had been created by something else? What if…

"Twilight? I don't think these things are from Equestria at all." the Pegasus whispered.

Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but abruptly shut it. What Rainbow Dash said made almost perfect sense, besides the insane idea of their being life outside of Equestria.

"C'mon Rainbow, they're probably just from the far side of the planet…or something." Twilight said, arguing as much with herself as her friend.

"Yeah, right. And where on Equestrian have they been hiding, exactly? Because I think someone would have mentioned the hulking green colored monsters in one of your books at some point." Some of Rainbow Dash's attitude shone through her cautious demeanor, and her voice rose slightly.

"Shh!" Twilight hissed, desperate to quiet her friend down before one of the creatures heard her, "Fine, Dash, they might be from another planet. Or another dimension. I admit it. Do you feel better?"

Rainbow Dash hesitated a moment before answering back;

"No. Not really."

Twilight nodded, "Me neither. Now let's get out of here before Pinky Pie and Fluttershy show up. They were supposed to meet us about now…" Twilight said, judging the time with a quick glance up at the sunlit sky.

Twilight felt something heavy settle down by her side as she carefully watched the crowd of green-skinned creatures, trying to judge the best time to make a quiet dash for safety. The prospects looked grim; the creatures had quickly sorted themselves and were patrolling the forest clearing in a manner that seemed downright…militant. Twilight dredged the word up from a history book she'd read a long time ago, although she couldn't quite remember what it meant. The heavy weigh by her side shifted again and Twilight whispered,

"Dash, could you please stop squirming? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Me? You're the one who felt the need to cuddle!"

Twlight froze.

"So you're not touching me right now?"

"What are you…talking…about…"

Both ponies fell silent, and turned their heads in the same slow, quiet movement to face the ground between them.

Their wide eyed gazes were met by a pair of, beady, malevolent red eyes that darted back and forth between them. Their gaze traveled down form the wicked eyes, past a pointed, ape like noise, down a long, green colored and black paint smeared face, to a lantern jaw framing the evilest, fanged mouth either pony had ever seen. Heavy arms draped themselves across both ponies backs, one ending in a massive, gore-stained metal claw, the other in a huge, five fingered hand topped with talon-like fingernails. The creature wrapped both arms around a pony, and pulled them closer in, insuring they got a full dose of both his now obvious stench and the foul odor of his breath.

"'Ello! 'Ow're you lot doin' today?" the Kommando cheerfully asked, just before the ponies began to scream in terror.


	2. First Contact

_Hey guys, thanks for the great reviews, keep 'em coming. And to everyone else-review, please; what you liked, what you didn't like, these are things that are good to hear about. Leads to faster updates…_

_-RogalDorn: Nah, thankfully da boyz know that Gork and Mork are both a healthy shade of green, so Celestia and Luna are in no danger of being mistaken for the right an' propa Orky gods. And, unfortunately for Equestria, the Orks are going to be dealing with a lot more than just the Mane six…a lot more._

_._

_And I'd like to apologize in advance for the focusing more on the Orks than the ponies for a while; the Orks actually pretty hard to write for, at least for me. They've always been a very visual army, if you can take my meaning, and I find that they require a ton of written description to ensure that they can live up to the colorful and individual feel set up for them by the model range and background and it's hard to convey the details in writing. I guess I could have glossed over that, but I felt like I'd be cheating them somehow, so a little too much Orkiness, less so on the Ponyness for a bit, but rest assured, they will have plenty of opportunity for loving and tolerating the hell out of the green-skins later on._

_Oh, an' merry Christmas ya' gits_

The stinking green monster's lantern jaw fell open and he scrunched his beady red eyes half-shut in agony as the two ponies screamed in terror bare inches from his pointed ears.

Unable to stand it any longer, the green skin leapt to his feet and covered his ears with his hands, braining himself with the Power-Klaw mounted on his left arm in the process.

"Twilight, run!" Rainbow Dash yelled, as the creature looked dazedly down at the heavy weapon he'd just clobbered himself with.

Twilight Sparkle needed no further encouragement, and, after twisting her body away from the confused monster she turned to run deeper into the copse of trees she and Rainbow Dash had been hiding in. Her escape was cut short, however, when another creature tore out of a small bush that Twilight swore on Celestia's Bright Sun was too small to conceal a rabbit, let alone the massive green skin that erupted from it. It seemed bigger, much bigger than the others, although not quite as large as the monster in yellow armor she'd watched tearing through the mob of alien creatures while bellowing at the top of its lungs and delivering well placed kicks to any creature that objected, though like all of the green skinned aliens it stood upright on its hind legs.

In contrast to the other creatures this one wore not rusted metal plates and rough, homemade clothing and gear, but heavy fatigues colored with an unsightly mass of green, brown and black tiger-stripes, over which it wore a heavy black vest that seemed to be made entirely of pockets and a belt from which dangled strange, stick-like metal objects with heavy cylinders at one end, a pair of evil-looking, jagged knives and a heavy metal box with a handle that sat in some sort of strange holder on its right hip. The creature brandished the huge axe he held in his hooves before crossing his obscenely muscled forelegs over it as he glared down at Twilight and barked something in its own language.

With the kind of attention to detail that can only be found in studious readers and careful students of magic, Twilight took in all of those details even as she skidded to a halt, knocked Rainbow Dash off the collision course that the unicorn had by accident or by design set with the axe-wielding green skins ankles, and began to scramble away in a new direction.

Only to find another green skin blocking her path, this one clad in a uniform with an outrageous pattern of purple and black splotches and carrying a huge metal…something with a belt of strange brass tubes hanging out of one side. It snarled, the sound muffled by the bulky respirator that covered half its face and leveled the strange device at Twilight…

_DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA_

The roaring explosion of sound sent the unicorn sprawling, as a fiery burst erupted from the end of the long metal thing the green skin had just set off. Twilights mind raced, trying to find something to compare the horrid sounds and fiery lights to; she thought of the fireworks displays in Canterlot, but not even the huge star-shells set off to celebrate the change of seasons could compare to that…thing. She stared, open mouthed, as she took in the furrowed ground around her hooves, trying to equate the churned earth to the effects of the device, knowing that someone the thing had caused the damage, but unsure just how it had done so; she sensed no magic in it, beyond the odd, heavily throbbing power she'd felt since the crackling energy storm had deposited these alien creatures unto Equestrian soil.

Rainbow Dash, however, was not taken with the same awe. She lay one foreleg across her friends shoulders, spun the stunned unicorn around and shoved her with all her might in the opposite direction.

"Snap out of it Twi!" she barked, hoping that whatever power the strange creature was carrying would need to time to recharge-

_DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA _the long metal stick began to roar again, as the foliage around the ponies was ripped apart by whatever force it contained. Both ponies shouted in raw terror, but neither stopped this time, running blind from the horrible…weapon, Twilight thought, again unsure of where she'd heard the term before, but certain that it fit. It did certainly seem like an ugly enough word to fit an ugly thing…

Another of the green skin monsters lunged out at them, this one swinging down out of a tree, carrying a vicious looking knife with saw teeth cut into the blade in one hand and a long metal box with a handle in the other. It gazed blankly down at them from behind a strange, three lensed pair of goggles that seemed to glow green even in the bright sunlight streaming down through the tree tops.

Another appeared beside it, this one clad in the same camouflage patterns as the big one, but instead of the huge axe brandished by the latter, he carried a bulky device that looked like a mass of tubes roughly welded together before being connected to a sloshing tank the creature wore on its back with a series of leaky hoses. Oddly enough, what appeared to be a pair of clunky-looking rockets were slung under the front of the weapon. Twilight again thought of the fireworks in Canterlot, but she doubted that those metal contraptions had a similarly benign purpose.

The two ponies quickly turned but they found that the creatures had formed up in a rough semicircle behind them and were slowly advancing, their cruel-looking weapons held ready for use.

"Awright ya weedy liddle gits…" the big one with the axe rumbled, his language as plain to understand as his speech earlier had been unintelligible, "'Old nice an' still an' we won't 'ave ta breaks ya none, yeah?"

"Buzz off freak show!" Dash returned, as she leaned back on her haunches, ready to spring forward at the first monster that got near her or Twilight.

"Dash! Calm down!" Twiligth shouted, hoping that her brave friends rash words didn't anger the alien monsters any more than they seemed to be already, but her friend was having none of it as she glowered at the advancing green skins; judging by their gruff laughter, they found the display of defiance to be hilarious. This did little to improve Rainbow Dash's demeanor.

Twilight looked desperately for an out, some way to escape before Dah charged in and got herself hurt. And she quickly found it; the creatures had left an opening, not bothering to spread out their circle to cut off the escape route directly behind the ponies, and Twilight quickly took advantage of it, snatching ahold of Dash's rainbow colored tail in her mouth and yanking hard,

"Yow!" Dash shouted, shooting into the air and spinning around, bringing Twilight with her, "What the hay?' she demanded, flapping her wings irritably, as she looked down at Twilight,  
>"Time to go!" the unicorn shouted, ignoring her friends outrage as she darted through the undergrowth,<p>

"Twilight! Hey wait!" Rainbow Dash shouted, as she flew to catch up, "Bad…"

The ponies had emerged from the forest and into the clearing where they'd watched the monsters form another world had appear en masse.

Twilight looked sheepishly up at Rainbow Dash as she found herself staring at wall of huge, heavily armed, vicious-looking aliens.

"Direction." the Pegasus finished, sinking back down to the ground.

The five monsters that had ambushed them in the forest emerged right behind them, cutting off their escape.

"Dash, maybe you should try and make a break for it." Twilight whispered as the blue Pegasus sidled closer to her,

"What? No way am I gonna leave you here with these things!" Rainbow Dash whispered back, harshly,

"Rainbow Dash, someone has to get back to Ponyville and warn everypony…"

The sound of heavy footsteps caught brought the whispered debate to an end, and both Ponies slowly turned, and looked up, and up, and up, over a pair of massive, red colored boots with jagged metal toe caps. Over a set of torn and patched trousers that seemed to have been sewn together from a dozen different materials, past a heavy belt with a gold plated crescent moon for a buckle and from which hung a pair of those frightening metal boxes of doom, and from there over a rusted, bright yellow painted metal breast plate worked in the image of a skull that barely covered the beings massive chest, over a long, obscenely muscle pair of arms that currently held both an enormous axe and a crude looking weapon that seemed to be bashed together out of metal pipes, over shoulder guards painted a bright yellow and decorated with incongruously delicate black flame designs, until they met the blood red eyes and black pupils of the hulking giant they'd seen rampaging through the throng of alien monsters, asserting his authority at the end of those same heavy boots and iron sheathed fists earlier.

"Wot da zog is you supposed ta' be?" he demanded, looking down at the ponies.

Warlord Rashbag Flashteef had seen quite few of the galaxies oddments in his time. He's watched the pointy eared pansies slip out of thin air through rips in reality itself. He's seen their dark kin do things, horrible things, whose purpose and meaning he still could not quite work out. He'd spent a day talking to himself, literally, after a freak warp accident had sent his kill-krooza back in time and Zogbits had been trying to fix things(he was pretty sure the Big-Mek hadn't gotten things quite right with that space-time continuum nonsense he's been on about, but he'd got them back to more or less the right time and place). He'd even seen one of his Grots manage to kill a Space Marine.

But never, in all of his spawned days, had he seen anything quite like the two little creatures currently staring up at him with wide, expressive eyes filled with sheer terror.

For the first time in his life, the Ork Warlord felt a clawing sensation in the bit of his stomach, that any other social being in the galaxy might identify as the social faux pas colloquially known as "feeling awkward", but which left the warlord confused and more than slightly frightened. And, true to his nature, he covered the moment of confusion up by yelling at someone. Very loudly.

"You 'der!" he shouted, pointing at the Nob leading the Kommando squad that seemed to have flushed the creatures into the Orks main body, "Tells me wot da zog dese fings is, seein' as 'dey can't seem ta' talks fer demselves!"

The Nob was caught off guard, not expecting to have been put on the spot quite so quickly. He stared at the Warlord for a few long moments, as if sizing the gargantuan thug up before deciding to answer him. "Not so sure, boss." He answered, having sat in silence just long enough to show enough to show his Kommando mob he wasn't afraid, but not long enough to be necessitate being beaten into obedience by the warboss, "We's found 'em slinkin' about in 'da shrubs. I figures dey was spyin' on us."

"Yer wot? Deese weedy fings?" Rashbag demanded, glowering dubiously at the Kommando nob and his two equine prisoners, "'Ow could _dey_ be spyin'. Dey's animals, ya git! Dey're not even…aww wot's 'dat humie word…?"

" 'Intel-ler-gant'? Is dat 'da word you was lookin' fer, boss?" a nearby Goff nob asked, mangling the pronunciation of the word as well the spirit and earning himself a smack across his iron jawed face from Rashbag,

"Don't yous finish me sentences, boy! An' yeah, dats da bloody word I was lookin' fer."

It took the two ponies a second to translate the Orks gutter-trash dialect, but when they did, Rainbow Dash quickly bristled,

"Hey, who are _you_ guys callin' stupid? You ever hear the line about the pot calling the kettle black?"

Silence fell over the war band as every beady, malice filled red eye fixated on the blue Pegasus.

"Fraggin' Mork! 'S a bleedin' talkin' Squig!" a Bad Moons Ork shouted, breaking the silence and bringing forth a hubbub of rough speculation about what such frightening portents could possibly mean.

"Naw, naw, naw; it ain't a bloody Squig ya gits." Rashbag countered, kneeling down to bring himself more or less face to face with the odd purple colored…thing. The creature took a few halting steps backwards before it ran into one of the Kommando's. Rashbag inhaled deeply, holding the creatures scent in his nostrils for a few moments before bowing out a blast of fetid breath right in the little things face.

"'Der ain't no such fing as talkin' squigs, ya morons." The Ork warlord growled, "'Sides, nuffing orky'd eva' be 'dis…fuzzy-wuzzy."

The mob seemed to take this under consideration, while Rainbow Dash seemed to be working up some appropriate response to the Orks slanderous description of her as being "fuzzy-wuzzy". The Warlord shifted his maliciously cunning, red-eyed gaze to her for a moment, and though his face showed nothing but curiosity, the Pegasus, braver than anypony in Equestria, flinched when she met his eye, and slowly, carefully, she settled back unto the ground below, trying not to catch that baleful gaze again.

As she watched her brash friend meekly settle back down to earth, Twilight realized, for the first time, just how dangerous these strange creatures might be.

The sight of her friends fear also drove Twilight to step up and stand between her and the menacing behemoth. She stamped a hoof on the ground and glared up at the Warlor, before announcing, with all the authority she could put in her voice,

"I am Twilight Sparkle! As an, er…representative…of Celestia, Princess of all Equestria . I demand to know who you are and your purpose for being in these lands!"

The Ork warlord quickly back away, shocked at the small creatures vehemence. For long moments, he and the rest of the Orks, were silent…before they burst out in hysterical laughter.

"Quite a liddle beastie yer found, Sneaky-Boy! Er'…wots yer name anyway?" Rashbag asked, looking up at the Kommando Nob.

"Scragga, boss," The Nob answered, "Wot you gonna do wiv' dese runts?" he demanded, pressing the issue.

"Eh, dey's too zogging small ter eat. No meat on der' bones. An' for damn sure der' too zogging small ter' give us a good fight…"

Twilight shot a warning glance at Rainbow Dash.

"Zog it. Let's go boyz!" The warlord shouted, before turning to grab ahold of the lunatic looking greenskin with the blue face paint he'd been kicking , "Zogbits, yous betta' 'ave a way outta dis skum 'ole by now. I's bleedin' bored…"

"Er...boss…mebbe we should do a bit of interogatin' wiv dese fings? Ask 'em some questions, like?" one of the creatures asked; he was not a massive brute like the others, but a lanky, spindly limbed creature about the size of a full grown pony, though it walked upright like it's larger kin. The creature had the same red yes and green skin as its kin, but instead of an upturned, ape-like nose, this creature's was long and pointed and its had huge, panted ears instead of the narrower ones possessed by the others. It was garbed in ridiculously bright yellow pants stitched with black lightning bolts and a horned yellow helmet and rusted armor plates, but Twilight looked around and noticed others; they were easy to miss when one's attention was taken by their hulking cousins, although none of the other were dressed as ostentatiously as this one.

"Hurrr…" hearing this low growl, Twilight looked up to find the monsters' leader "Could be we ouaghta', yeah. You der! Twiline Sprinkles!"

"Twilight Sparkle." The unicorn corrected automatically,

"Woteva'.Youse gona answer some questions, see?"

"We're not telling you anything." Rainbow Dash growled, getting her courage back and standing on her hind legs to square off with the Warlord. Rashbag shifted his malevolent gaze back to her, but the pegasus steeled herself and locked her gaze with the orks', staring back defiantly.

"Dash…lets just see what they want to know. I don't think they have any more idea who we are than we do about them."

"But…"

Twilight looked pleadingly at Rainbow Dash, hoping that the situation wouldn't degenerate into violence, especially since violence seemed like something that these strange creatures were quite good at. The rainbow maned pegasus backed down. Twilight sighed in relief and Rashbag was disappointed that it no longer seemed like he was going to get the chance to beat information out of the two strange four legged creatures. Or order someone else to do it, which was almost as entertaining.

"First off…der' anyfing ta fight 'round 'ere?"

"Umm…what do you mean?" Twilight, surprised and more than a little confused.

Rashbag rolled his eyes; clearly this creature was a bit slow.

"I mean is 'der anyfing around 'ere dat' isn't a weedy liddle grot like yous two?"

Twilight saw the trap and nimbly dodged it, stuffing a hoof in Rainbow Dash's mouth and quickly declaring;

"No, sir, I guess not…ponies are the," she thought quickly, "dominant, I guess you could say, life form in equestrian. And we really don't like to fight. We're not good at it…we don't have anything like those weapons you carry, I've never even seen one," Twilight proclaimed, hamming up a look of wide eyed innocence and pointing a hoof at the heavy metal objects, "What are they?"

Despite the frantic shushing gestures of the Kommando nob, Rashbag blurted in surprise;

"_Shootas_? _You lot don't know wot shootas are_?" he half shouted the question.

Twlight flinched as the Orks voice echoed in her head,

"Er…no sir. What do they do"

"Dey fire bullets ya eejit! Ya didn't know that? Dey dakka's fings!" Rashbag set a protective hand over his Snazzgun, as if worried it might overhear the ponies ignorance of its purpose and be offended, "You use 'em fer killin' enemies good an' propa'!"

Scragga the Kommando nob threw his hands in the air and stalked off, muttering something about "dilvulgin' intel ta' da enemy" under his breath.

Rashbag watched him go, before looking back down at Twilight,

"So you lot really won't be good inna fight, 'specially iffen ya' don't knows about dakka." He huffed, then demanded;

"So der ain't no gribblies 'round 'ere?"

"Ummm…excuse me?" Twilight asked,

"Tyranids." The small creatures clarified,

"No…"

"Squid 'eads?"

Twilight looked at the small creature

"Daemons."

"No…"

"Blue skinned gits?"

"Tau." The small one translated automatically this time,

"Chaos boys?" the warlord demanded, his voice beginning to sound desperate,

"Chaos marines, der sometimes called." He fixed Twilight with his keen yes before continuing, "'Names Monty, by da' way."

"Pleased to meet you, Monty," Twilight said, smiling at the first sign if civility form these strange creatures. Seeing the increasingly apoplectic look on the large ones face, "And I've never heard of those either, sir. Excuse me, but may I ask your name?"

Rashbag was taken aback both by the answer and Twilights polite question,

"Later, Twinkle," Twilight didn't bother to correct him this time; he seemed a bit…testy, "Wot about tin cans?"

"Err…Monty?"

"We's tallkin' about Spacey Marines, Miss Twilight."

"No…I've never heard of them." trying to not act to surprised by Monty's honorific to her name.

"Pansies?" Rash bag asked, exasperated,

"Eldar."

"No…"

"_Dark Pansies_?" the big one nearly shouted. This time Twilight didn't need a translation from Monty and shook her head.

"_Humies_?" Yer gotta know about humies, weedy little fing. At least gives me 'dat!"

Twilight again looked at Monty,

"Humans." The Gretchin translated.

She hesitated a moment before answering ;

"No, sir."

Rashbag howled in anguish before falling to his knees and looking up at the heavens,

"Gork 'n Mork…I'm sorry to 'ave displeased ya' so bad that ya decided ta' stick me 'n dis' 'orrible place wiv nuffing ta' fight but weedy gits…"

Twilight looked on in incomprehension as the huge creature continued to plead with the sky; even more so, as many of the others followed his example. The ones that didn't began to eye each other, fingering their weapons and muttering amongst themselves; it seemed that in the absence of the any of the enemies their leader had listed, they decided to just fight each other instead. This insane battle lust shocked Twilight to her core; how could any creature's be so devoted to violence and strife that they'd start fight amongst themselves in the absence of more worthy adversaries? Her internal reverie was interrupted by Rainbow Dash, however;

"Er, Twilight…what the hay is going on with these things?"

"I'm not sure…I think they've gone crazy because they figured out they don't have anypony to fight."

"Oh yeah?" The Pegasus squared her shoulder, and before Twilight could stop her, lifted off the ground and flew at the monsters.

And that was when the Manticores attacked.

Fluttershy was worried, although she was doing her best to show it to Pinkie Pie. She knew that the pink earth pony wouldn't share her mood, but she'd rather avoid the attempts to cheer her up that were sure to ensue if Pinkie found out her friend wasn't as happy as she was.

"Hey, Fluttershy, is everything alright?"

Oh _darn_ it. Fluttershy thought, before mentally reprimanding herself for swearing,

"Oh…I'm fine Pinkie. It's just the animals are acting a little funny…"

"Oh really? How?" Pinkie asked, hopping around and looking at the empty expanse of the forest, "I know that there's normally tons of little animals coming up too talk to you, and I did think it was strange that we hadn't seen any, but then I though, hey, I'm here and they normally seem to hide when I'm around, the silly fillies…"

And more power to them, Fluttershy thought, before interrupting Pinkie;

"But normally only hide like this when there's something big and…scary…around." the yellow Pegasus whispered; it had been ages since something that bad had been around. _Oh_, she thought, _I hope it's not another dragon…_

Suddenly, Pinkie seemed to be having a seizure; the pink earth pony hit the ground, all four legs in the air and twitching wildly;

"Pinkie!" Fluttershy nearly screamed rushing to her friends side, but Pinkie Pie suddenly shot back to her feet and atrted to hop across the with short, jittery bounds while her ears twitched back and forth. And then, as suddenly as it had started, the strange fit was gone, and Pinkie Pie stood staring straight ahead.

"Whoa." She finally said,

"Ummm…was that your Pinkie Pie sense?" Fluttershy quietly asked,

Pinkie simply nodded,

"Ohhh…I've never seen one like that…what does it mean?"

Pinkie Pie set her hoof on her chin and carefully considered for a moment before answering;

"Maybe…maybe it means that a freak energy storm from another dimension has suddenly transported a group of heavily armed, bipedal, psychotic fungus based life forms who live only for war and slaughter, along with most if not all of the equipment and weaponry they use to wreak utter havoc on the galaxy at large for their own amusement…" she stopped her explanation when she saw the utterly horrified look on her pegasus friends face,

"Or," she giggled, "It could not mean that."

"Uh-huh."

"But…if it was, they'd probably be green. That's what the ear twitch would mean."

"Uh huh."

Just then a creature the like of which neither pony had ever seen leapt out unto the path. It was a bright red, two legged creature whose squat body seemed to consist entirely of a maw of razor sharp teeth…and it was fixing its feral, milky white eyes on the ponies

There were three of the creatures, two hunters and a pack leader…and they charged right out of the woods from the direction of the Everfree forest, roaring savagely, exposing maw of razor sharp fangs as they bore down, eager for fresh meat.

_I'm glad Fluttershy isn't here to see this_, Twilight thought as she prepared a spell to levitate the manticores off the ground until they calmed down a bit.

But then all hell broke loose.

"Somefin' ter fight!" one of the aliens shouted, "_Somefin' ter fight_!"

It turned out to be the big monster in black clothes the leader had smacked earlier. Brandishing a huge, monstrous looking weapon with three spinning circular saw blades on the head, it ran forward, blazing wildly away with one of the lethal _shoota's_ one handed.

The leader quickly stood up and tore past its underling, leveling the insane weapon it carried in both hands…when the gun roared to life, Twilight nearly screamed in pain as the sound of its discharge assaulted her senses. She fell to the found, pressing her hooves firmly to her ears, as both the sound of the creatures devastating weapons and their savage cries of glee tore through the clearing, drowning out the sound of the manticores bellows.

"Frag 'em ta zog!"

"Get 'em!"

"Stomp 'em! Smash 'em! 'Till da red juice runs out!"

Twilight looked on, horrified, as the manticores died.

The small teeth-monster snarled as it ran forward, and Fluttershy barely had enough time to sling herself and Pinkie Pie out of the way. The creature ran right past them, and she quickly turned and demanded,

"And just what do you think you're doing mister? You could have hurt us!"

The monster pawed the ground again before tearing forward, shrieking in fury and snapping its massive jaws,

"Oh no you don't!" Fluttershy shouted while nimbly avoiding the attack, "I don't want to do this but you leave me no choice!" she locked eyes with the red beast as it nearly tripped over while spinning around to attack again.

The first manticore was just…shredded. It jerked wildly as the lead monster blazed away at it; whatever destructive magic resided in the creatures _shoota_ was a horror to behold, as the it tore apart not only the manticore but a goodly portion of the forest and ground behind it as well. As it's smoking corpse fell to the ground, the greenskins reached the second one.

The black clad brute was the first to attack it, and the first to fall on the aliens side, as he was knocked to the ground by a swipe of the manticores paws. Before the creature from the Everfree forest could close in for the kill. However, another of the greenskins reached it and stitched its flank with _shoota_ fire before laying its shoulder open with a slash from its crude axe. The manticore roared in fury and sank its teeth into the greenskin, nearly tearing the alien in half. It victory counted for naught, however, as it was promptly swamped by a wave of aliens who laid into it with their _shootas_ and blades; it's agonized death screams were the only proof that it still remained under the thrashing pile of greenskins that enveloped it.

The last manticore seemed to recoil as it saw how quickly its fellows had died. It backpedaled desperately, turning to flee the clearing…only to find its way blocked by the small force of aliens that had chased Twilight and Rainbow into the clearing.

It roared in fury and desperation, hoping to scare off these strange, terrifying creatures that had wiped out its pride.

The big one turned its head slightly as the manticores fury washed over it,

"Oh really? Come an' 'ave a go 'den." Twilight heard the alien answer nonchalantly, before the manticore bellowed a battle cry and charged forth, swiping at the lead alien. The green skin casually pirouetted out of the and brought its huge axe crashing down on the creature's paw, nearly slicing it off.

As the manticore howled in agony, the creature's who carried the long, heavy looking _shoota_ stepped around to the side and blasted away at the manticores back legs, bringing it crashing to the ground. Another, the one dressed in tight black clothing with the three lensed goggles covering his head, stepped forward and pumped a single shot into the fallen manticores head.

"Well…dat wasn't no fun." The leader grumped, before heading back into the clearing to rejoin the main body of greenskins.

The furious charge of the little monster was halted dead in its tracks as Fluttershy fixed her furious eyes with the snarling beast.

It halted, confused, but still snarling defiance through its slobbering jaws as the yellow Pegasus began to slowly pace forward, speaking sternly;

"That's quite enough of that, little man! You're going to hurt someone if you keep at that!

The beast opened its wide mouth at let outan ear piercing shriek, but fi anything, its defiance only made Fluttershys glare grew even fiecer,

"_I said that's quite _enough_ of that_!" she almost shouted.

The creatures defiance stopped as abruptly and its milky white eyes widened in shock,

"You need to calm that temper, understand?" Fluttershy continued, her face now mere inches from the creatures eyes…and its enormous maw of razor sharp teeth.

The creature shifted its stubby body so that its eyes faced the ground.

"There's no reason to go around attacking ponies like that, even if you're angry or hungry."

The beast let out a a warbling noise that might have been a whimper,

"Awww…" the yellow pegasus' vice softened, but she kept her eyes locked with the creatures', "You're not from around here, are you? I've never seen a little animal like you before. But just because you're lost doesn't mean you should get scared and angry. I'm sure someplony would have helped you if you'd just asked…"

"Uh, Fluttershy, you know it can't talk, right?" Pinkie Pie asked, quietly, only to receive a quick flash of her friends blazing glare, "Sorry! I'll be quiet!"

The beast looked up again and sniffed the air around Fluttershy face curiously. The quiet pony did her best not to blanch when she got a whiff if the creatures scent. The musky odor coming of the little creatures was totally unlike anything she'd ever scented in all of her years dealing with animals.

The creatures ended it olfactory inspection after a few seconds, before leaning back to regard Fluttershy with look of surprisingly intelligent regard.

The red monster let a warbling noise that sounded for the world like a sigh of indifference, before scrambling around behind the Pegasus and, with surprising dexterity for a creature with no forearms, climbed up her hind legs and perched on her back. Fluttershy let out a squeak of surprise as the heavy creature settled into its place, but then giggled,

"Oh, okay…I'd be happy to help you find your way home, little guy. We just have to find my friends first, alright?"

The red beast growled an acknowledgment.

"Wow…" Pinker Pie marveled, cantering closer to Fluttershy, "What is it, Fluttershy?" she looked closly at the creatures, who was sitting on its new perch and glaring malevolently at the bouncy pink pony, "Have you ever seen anything like it? It's soooo scary! It's all like grawwwwwlllll and *snap* *snap*," she gnashed her teeth together to illustrate her point and the small creature shot to its feet and dashed forward across Fluttershy back to stand on her shoulder and snarl ferociously at Pinkie Pie, who quickly doubled back in fear,

"Er, I'm not sure Pinkie," Fluttershy glance over at her new passenger, who, at the first sign of eye contact with its new acquaintance, dashed back to its old place on her back, "I've never seen anything quite like it. Oh…I hope Twilight and Rainbow Dash haven't run into more of them…somepony might get hurt."

Pinkie nodded, before asking, "Where do you think he came from?"

Suddenly, the quiet of the forest was ripped apart by a cacophony of rough shouting, animalistic roars, and a thunderous series of rapid explosions that echoed through the glades like a storm.

The two ponies silently regarded each other as the word once again fell quiet.

Pinkie giggled weakly,

"'Cuz I hope it's not wherever that came from."

Buoyed by his recent bout of righteous slaughter, Warlord Flashteef let out a wordless shout before lifting his heavy snazzgun over his head and blazing away.

Slinging the massive weapon over his back, he unsheathed the chain bladed choppa that hung on his side, yanked the starting rope to bring it screaming to life, and roughly sawed off the head off the still smoking corpse of the manticore before lifting it in the air for all of his warband to see. Those orks not wrapped up with collecting their own grisly trophies shouted their approval and appreciation for their bosses' skill.

Dragging the severed head behind him, he stalked across the field back to the collection if vehicles and wrecked equipment where the warp storm had disgorged the orks, leaving a bloody trail across the grass. His remaining nob body guards fell in step behind them, and Rashbag turned to take stock of them.

He was disappointed to find that none of his massive Meganobz had made the trip with him; their heavy, multi-ton suits of mega armor had probably ensured that even the massive force of the warp hole could drag them off.

But the six nobs that still remained were nothing to slouch at, if their heavy equipment of kombi-shhota, power claws, heavy cudgels and collections of fightin' scars were anything to judge. He tossed the head to the biggest of them (and thus obviously the leader), and said;

"You 'der! Get dat mounted on me wagon. It'll look ded 'ard hangin' up ova' da' grill."

The nob nodded,

"Yer got it, boss!" he said, tossing his grisly burden to one of his underlings and shouting;

"You 'eard da boss ya grot-fondlas! Get to it!"

"Gryfyn-der teams on it, cap'n!" one of the largest of the other five agreed, hefting his huge, spike headed mace in one hand and running towards the warlords wagon, which had miraculously landed on its armored wheels and appeared none the worse wear for having just travelled through a warp storm.

Another, similarly huge and identically armed nob chased after him followed by their shoota armed compatriots,

"You's too, Sneaka!" the nob bellowed at a small, harried looking Gretchin dressed in red and orange checked clothing and armor and bearing a standard emblazoned with a stylized design of a strange, hairy squig. The leader followed behind, shouting profane encouragement.

Rashbag stared after them, a deeply confused expression screwed on his ugly face.

"Awwrighty 'den…" he breathed. Distantly, he remembered what he was doing before he'd been interrupted by the arrival of the strange, brightly colored squig creatures. He gravely surveyed the returning mobs of blood stained orks.

"You lot! Lissen up! I wants all of youse leader-boyz ta' sound off! Lesse wot we got 'ere! Monty! C'mre an' keep track a dese gits for me!" as the extravagantly dressed grot ran to his master's side, he pulled a stolen Imperial guard data slate out a heavy pouch at his side.

Pointing a heavily, be-ringed finger at a mob of Bad Moons loota boyz as he stalked past them,

"Who're you lot 'den?"

"Dallog's Dakka-Fiends, boss!" the mekboy leading them declared, hefting his gold plated kustum-mega blasta. Rashbag grunted in acknowledgement while Monty quickly jotted information down on the data-slate.

Rashbag was storming towards the next mob of orks when a quiet voice interputed;

"Excuse me…sir?"

Rashbag looked back over his shoulder to find those two odd creatures cantering along in his wake.

"Wot? You lot still 'ere?"

"Er…we just had some questions to ask, if that alright."

"Yeah, like just what the hay are you maniacs?" Rainbow Dash demanded, still shaken by the bloody outburst of violence that had just occurred but doing her best not to show it. She's been all for bugging out at top speed as soon as the monsters had been distracted, even more so when she'd seen what they did to the manticores. But Twilight had insisted that they stay and establish first contact or something like that. In the blue pegasus' book, first contact had been established when they'd almost been blown to bits in the woods and it was time to call in the royal guard.

"We's da Orks, liddle weedy git." Rashbag declared, before snarling something in his own language at another group of…orks. Twilight thought. The guttural, ugly name seemed to fit these creatures perfectly.

"How is it you came to learn Equestrian?"

"Wot 'chu talkin' about?" Rashbag turned, "I's speakin' orky. Wot uvver language is 'der?"

"But…" Rashbag turned to yell at a group of black and denim clad orks who were clustered around a line of two wheeled vehicles hung with skulls and shootas, talking loudly in their own tongue and drinking a vile green looking liquid out of crude metal cans. One of them turned to glare at rash bag before yelling something back and hold up the middle didgit of one of his hands.

"Monty! Deal wiv' dose two while I's go break 'eads!" Rashbag shouted, before storming into the crowd of orks and throwing punches, kicks and curses around.

" 'Er, yeah guv. Wot was it you two askin'?" the Gretchin asked, dodging a flying ork.

"It seems like we can understand you orks when you speak to us, but not when you speak to each other, why is that?"

"No idear, Miss Twlight. Bit funny though, now that ya mention it…" the gretchin stopped talking as Rashbag returned, his metal gauntlets dripping with blood,

"Add da 'igh and mighty Warp Angelz warbikers to ta' da' list, Monty. Next!" Rash bag stomped off, with his strange retinue in pursuit.

"Grasnaz's and me Lads, boss!" a paunchy ork in Snake-Bite clan red and white declared, restign proudly on his grabba stick as he loomed dover his herd of gretchin and snotlings. "I's ready ta put 'dis lot ta' work as soon as ya need 'em."

"Put 'em on 'da list Monty."

As he hurriedly wrote the mob down on his list, Monty turned to Twilight Sparkle,

"So, did ya unnerstand 'dat?" he asked,

"No, but I can understand you now."

"Dat is weird! Wish we 'ad a weirdboy ter ask about it. 'E might now wot dis was about."

"Haven't you ever heard of something like this happening before?" Rainbow Dash asked,

The grot laughed evilly before answering; "Beggin' yer pardon, Miss but we's don't normally keep no one alive long enough 'ter 'ave a conversation wiv 'em."

Both ponies fell silent as the two aliens ran through the rest of the assembled orks.

"Macker's Murderfiends.", the iron gobbed Goff reported proudly as his mob of slugga boyz brandished their choppas.

"Cybeks Pillagers!" a Deff Skull nob reported in, crossing his blue painted arms as his mob of boyz checked their shootas.

"Gortaks Tankbustas!" proclaimed a nob wearing a suit of armor forged from the armor plates of a Leman Russ conqueror and carrying a multi-barreled rokkit launcher.

"Dok Hack Bash, at yer service boss." An ork with a blood spattered off-white apron and belt full of surgical tools declared, while cleaning the combinations syringe/buzz saw that was attached to its left arm. He and small band of Gretchin assistants were plying their trade among the war band, offering to patch up the minor injuries sustained in the short fight with the manticores. Most of the orks took one look in the Doks wild eyes and wisely refused.

They found a weird boy cowering behind a wrecked trukk while his trio of Gretchin minders did their best to drag him out by the chins attached to his collared neck,

"Er, dis' 'ere is Urgot da Magnificatn Warp'ead, boss." One of the grots explained, "Dat trip through da' warp 'as 'em a bit out uv sorts, is all."

The roll call went on, until all that was left was swarm of unattached mekboyz that formed into a loose mob around Zogbits the Big Mek, a few odd assorted boyz that were slowing being absorbed into the war band…and a trio if orks dressed in crude flying gear, although one seemed to be more machine than ork. They were clustered around the wrecks of a pair of fighta bommas, looking mournfully on as their metal steeds of the air gently smoldered.

"Who're you lot den?" Rashbag demanded from behind them, and the three orks nearly fell over themselves in surprise as they turned and sloppily came to attention.

The largest of them dusted off his sleeveless bomber jacket and snapped off a rough salute,

"Deff Skwadron reportin' boss! Or…wot der is uv it."

Rashbag dubiously eyed the three orks and their motley costume of jumpsuits, flight goggles, shorts, parachutes and chain bedecked peaked caps, in the case of the insane looking with the cybork replacements on all four limbs.

"Wot's yore names 'den?" the warlord asked, deciding to make allowances for the normal levels of insanity found in ork flyboyz

"Kommanda Uzgob, sir. This 'eres me smartboy navigator Gimzod, an' 'dat…" he pointed at the cybork, whose one organic eye was twitching spasmodically, "Is Killboy."

Rashbag looked from ork to ork, and then shook his head, "I take it yer machines ain't workin'?"

"Nah boss, they's smashed up good an' proper."

Rashbag sighed again,

"Er, boss, if you don't mind me askin' where 'da zog are we?"

"Wot? Oh yeah…" Rashbag turned to look at the ponies again, "Annuva' question, weedy liddle gits, where da zog is dis place?"

"Equestria."

"Dat's right, you's said before didn't ya?" Rashbag turned back to Kommanda Uzgob, "We's in Equestria."

"Right you are boss! Now where da zog is that?"

Rashbag shrugged,

"No idea, but we's getting da zog outta'ere as soon as possible. Speaking a' which…" he glared at the ponies, "You lot said 'der weren't nuffing ta' right 'round 'ere, yeah?"

Twilight nodded cautiously,

"Den wot da zog do ya call dose fings?" Rashbag demanded, pointing to the corpses of the manticores, which the orks had industriously skinned and butchered.

"They're just animals!" Twiligth protested, "They don't fight they just…"

"Blah blah blah…der more 'em?" Rashbag asked,

"Well I suppose in the Everfree Forest there are others…but there's so many dangerous creature sin there that nopony ever goes in there unless…"

"Wait, wait 'der more fings like 'dat lot? Dangerous?"

Twilight nodded.

Rashbag grinned evilly, flashing his maw of wikced-looking fangs nefore shouting,

"Alright you lot! I gotta plan! We's gonan go to 'da Everfree Forest, where'eva 'dat is, an we's gonna set upa fortress. Der's stuff ta fight 'der so we's gonna 'ave some fun while Zogbits figures us a way outta da mess 'E's got us into. Now move it!"

_Awright den boyz…iffen you's liked dis fic, lemme 'ear a review dat says WAAAAAAAGH! good an' loud! An' also, a ler-git-imate opinion about wot yer thought about it would be nice too…_


	3. On the Road Again

_Sorry this took so long, boyz (an' bronyz)_

_Thanks for all the reviews! Also, I need a Beta. Any volunteers?_

_A few quick notes to me boyz-_

_CommissarFlare- A) Zog me…you're right! Definitely needs more Burny. I'll add some Burna Boys in later, rest assured. But hey, I do have a kommando carrying a burna with an under slung rokkit launcha, that's gotta be worth some style points B) Dat's okay humie…we'd be more'n 'appy ter bring a good an propa' Waagh! ter YOU. Hur hur hur hur_

_Extarious Scriptor-My recommendation would be the Death Korps of Krieg. Poor guys wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they got stuck in Equestria. But if you're looking for a smaller, more characterized bunch I'd say Catachans…or the Tallarn. Those poor Lawrence of Arabia expys never get any action._

_Obsessed Nuker, Malletman-Thank you gentlemen; constructive criticism is not only welcomed, it's asked for, so keep it up, please. And as for Rarity…Hair Squigs. That is all._

_Also, I swear to god that the last chapter was broken up in the original document, but apparently FF decided that that was a _bad _thing somehow, hence the problem. I've tried to go back and edit online the changes don't carry over, so I might have to pull it down and repost. I don't know, honestly I'm just being lazy, but I'll fix it. Eventually. Also, I did my best to break this into chapters, but everything from double spacing to symbols are deleted when I upload to doc manager. So screw it.  
><em>

_I've got to know a great deal more about these creatures over the last century or so, since that first disconcerting encounter, and one thing I've seen time and again is that dismissing them as simple, unreasoning brutes is a fast route to the graveyard (or more likely their stomachs)._

_-Commissar Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium, Personal Memoirs. C. 2 M42, in reference to his experiences in combat with the Orkoid species._

_Celestia preserve us Celestia preserve us Celestia preserve us Celestia preserve us Celestia preserve us…_

The simple prayer ran through Fluttershyss head again and again, like a broken record, as she and Pinkie Pie stood in the deepest shadow of the forest and watched the insane sight spread across their favorite picnic spot; dozens of massive, green skinned creatures swarmed around the meadow, trampling the delicate grass of Equestria under their heavy boots while they tended to an array of stinking, growling metal beasts.

The yellow pegasus pony flinched as an array of two wheeled, metal bodied, red painted _things_ belched into roaring life, flames and smoke pouring out of metal tubes hanging from their sides as their black clad riders shouted with glee, pounding one another on the back and somehow making their machines run around in tight circles, tearing up the soft ground and sending clods of earth soaring through the air behind their oversized, metal plated rear wheels.

Others hastily tossed bits and pieces of gear into ramshackle, four wheeled carts who roared just as loudly as the two wheeled machines.

Another mob of aliens strained to load the wreckage of two strange, winged constructions unto the back of a pair of long, eight wheeled conveyances the likes of which Fluttershy had never seen. She stared, intently, trying to fathom what purpose either those strange carts or the even stranger winged machines might serve. And that was when she looked over to ask her bouncy friend what she thought these strange creatures were up to and found the pink coated earth pony was gone.

Rainbow Dash looked on silently as Twilight Sparkle did her best to not acknowledge the atrocity they'd both just witnessed. Three manticores from the Everfree forest had made the life ending mistake of charging full tilt upon a newly arrived, angry and confused mob of orks. The resulting carnage had been…

The young pegasus quickly focused entirely on her friend, trying to ignore the shattered carcasses scattered near the forests edge where the green-skins had left them. But then one of the aliens swaggered by, blood covering his rough black clothing and rusted, blue painted armor, casually munching on a glistening gobbet of meat cleaved from the haunch of a manticore, and her stomach lurched violently as the world started spinning. She retched, nearly choking as she tried to swallow back bile, before giving up her attempts and letting her breakfast loose on the verdant ground.

"Wot da zog is wrong wiv' 'im den?" the hulking ork leader, Rashbag, demanded as Dash sank to the ground, still spitting out the vile remnants stuck in her mouth. Twilight didn't answer, she just quickly moved to stand between Rainbow Dash and the orks. The purple unicron waited a few moments, trying to make it seem like she wasn't coddling the proud, tough weather control pony before gentling nudging the pegasus' flank, edging her away from the vicious aliens before quietly asking;

"Dash, what's wrong? Are you sick?" the unicorn asked. She suspected she knew why Rainbow Dash was feeling ill, although…she couldn't discount the terrifying possibility that these strange creatures had brought some sort of terrible new sickness with them from where it was their own...world? Reality? Twilight still had no clue, although she did feel safe in hypothesizing that the orks were not from Equestria. Although the analysis spells she'd tried had been inconclusive, she felt safe…

Rainbow Dash gasped in a deep lungful of air, held it, almost threw up again and then looked imploringly up at Twilight, bringing the unicorn crashing back to reality.

"No. It's just…it's just…Twilight, these things just _killed_. They just…those manticores…they…" Dash retched again, but managed to keep ahold of her now empty stomach.

Twilight closed her eyes, as if composing herself, and nodded,

"I know Rainbow Dash," the unicorn said, stiffly; she was silent for a long moment, and Rainbow looked up to find her shivering slightly; she shakily got to her feet and started to reach out to set a hoof on her friends shoulder when the purple pony continued, "The sounds…it was over so fast, three creatures dead in the flick of a tail."

The unicorn opened her eyes suddenly and Rainbow Dash found Twilights purple irises blazing with an unexpected mix of fury and terror as they seemed to fix on a point far behind the young pegasus,

"But the worst part was…they _reveled in that slaughter_."

Killing was not a new concept to either pony; even the youngest filly was taught that there were some creatures in the world that survived by ending the lives of others; spiders, snakes, ferrets, manticores and hydras, to name a few, were carnivores; animals and insects who sustained themselves on the flesh and blood of their fellow creatures. It might seem unpleasant, but this was simply the nature of the world, the way of the great circle of life.

And so, intellectually, both ponies were familiar with the concept of violent, untimely death, insomuch as they both knew such an event could occur.

Neither were prepared for the sight of an ork warlord blasting a living creature to bits with an overpowered automatic cannon before sawing its head off and displaying it for the admiration of his subordinates.

Dash looked at her friend, who seemed to be fighting hard to compose herself, and asked;

"Twilight, how are you _doing_ this?"

The unicorn looked surprised,

"What do you mean?"

"You seem so calm, Twilight. Even right after…the manticores died you just…kept going."

Twilight looked away, back at the ferocious orks as they knocked their equipment together, literally, and prepared to move out to the Everfree forest. She looked back at her friend and shook her head.

"I don't know, Dash. I just keep thinking about my friends…about all the ponies of Equestria, actually, and what might happen if these orks get to them," She shuddered again, "I don't want what happened to those creatures to happen to anypony in Equestria," she paused, looking around at the orks before fixing her gaze with Dash's again, "Especially any of you."

Twilight smiled slightly, and Rainbow Dash felt herself smiling back without a conscience thought, finding strength in her friends unexpected resolution. She nodded,

"So, you got a plan Twi?"

The studious unicorn nodded, before speaking with a grim seriousness that made Rainbow Dash shiver,

"Get them away from everypony, as quickly as possible. If they want to go to the Everfree Forest, fine. I say we help them get there. Hopefully the creatures there will…keep them occupied long enough for the Princesses to figure out what to do about them."

Rainbow Dash shrugged,

"I don't want to leave you, but I could take off to Canterlot, right now, and be there like *that*." The pegasus offered, clapping her fore hooves together to emphasis her point.

Twilight looked around, and found that both the keen eyed "grot", Monty, as well as the "kommando", Scragga, were glowering at the pair of ponies, their blood red eyes brimming with dark suspicion.

The unicorn pony sighed;

"I know Dash. But…I don't want to provoke them. So far, they seem to think ponies aren't a threat…and considering what happens when they _do_ think something's a threat, we should keep it that for as long as possible."

Rainbow Dash started to nod, but a growing hubbub amongst the orks caught both their attention…and then they saw a poofy pink mane bouncing up and down just above the shoulders of the throng of green-skinned barbarians.

Pinkie Pie could hardly believe her luck at finding so many strange new friends arriving in Equestria(the thought that these newcomers might _not_ want to be friends hadn't crossed her mind), and she bounded from green skin to green skin, cheerfully introducing herself and inviting them to the Welcome to Equestria party she was already planning for the aliens.

The orks, for their part, stared in slack jawed confusion at the party mare, utterly flabbergasted by her behavior.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?" she demanded of a wide-eyed slugga boy. The ork blinked, jaw working as he struggled to come up with a response. Pinkie Pie gig gled, and nudged the ork with her nose,

"Hey, silliy-filly, you need to tell me your name so we can be friends!"

The ork took a long, hard look into the pink ponies slightly-manic, joyous eyes. Encoded combat instincts screamed at him to attack, while ork common-sense (such a thing did, in point of fact, exist, although just what an ork might consider to be "common sense" was still a matter of much debate amongst the scholars of the forty-first millennium, none of whom, naturally, are orks) argued that shooting the harmless seeming bouncing furball was a gross overreaction, and, more importantly, might make him seem like a git. Confused, and frightened, the ork boy simply screamed "Bossss! 'Elp!" at the top of his lungs before running off as quickly as he could.

Pinkie Pie, wearing a look of bewilderment as intense as those of her ork victims, stared after him in confusion, "But…I just wanted to be friends…" she said.

And, just as she made up her mind to follow the poor creature and try again, she froze in her tracks as a bass voice behind her bellowed;

"Oi! Yous! Wot's you doin' to me boyz liddle fuzzy-wuzzy fing?"

Pinkie turned to find the biggest of the newcomers she'd yet seen glaring down at her from between the heavy, jagged armor plate that encased his lower jaw and the armor plated brim of a heavy,

black-painted helmet decorated with a pair of long, bleached ivory horns.

It wore black clothes of rough materials that Pinkie couldn't even begin to guess the origin of, and heavy metal shoulder and chest armor decorated with black and white checkered patterns. It tightly clutched a heavy, saw-toothed axe in one hand while the other rested upon an odd metal box with a crude handle that was loosely strapped to its belt.

"Oooooohhh…you're biiiig…" Pinkie marveled, blue eyes widening as she looked up at the hulking Goff nob. The pink earth pony began cantering in a tight circle around the orks booted feet, sizing him up as she went.

"Oi, wot da bleedin' zog is you…" the ork began to demand, but before he could finish the sentence, Pinkie seemed to disappear. The green skin began to look around in confusion, trying to figure out just where the strange pink creature had gone. Feeling an unaccustomed weight un his choppa, he glanced down at the crude chain-axe…and found himself staring straight into those same manic eyes that had sent his underling scampering away in terror. Pinkie stood with her back hooves improbably balanced on the top of the chain-axe, her neck craning upwards, and her face inches from the orks'.

The orks beady red eyes crossed as he did his best to lock eyes with the earth pony, and not take off running like his mob had (Although running in terror was currently sounding like a pretty good option, it was never a wise idea for an ork nob to show the slightest sign of weakness in front of his boyz).

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?"

The Goff stood frozen for a long moment. Finally, he answered, voice measured and quiet, lest he startle what he was fairly convinced was a squig possessed by a Pink Horror of Slaanesh while she was mere inches from his craggy face,

"Macka."

Pinkie Pie leapt off the chain axe and bounced up and down in excitement, her strange antics no doubt saving her from a severe mauling at the business end of the Goffs' newly freed choppa.

"Finally! Somepony who knows how to make friends!" Pinkie exclaimed, flourishing in a surprisingly elegant ballet twirl before sitting on her back haunches and extending a hoof,

Macka looked dubiously down at the proffered hoof, one thick brow raised,

"Wot're you doin' dat fer?" he growled, as his narrow red eyes began to glow with suspicion, "You 'avin a laugh liddle fuzzy wuzzy? Wanna 'ave a go 'den?" the ork shouted, brandishing his big choppa. To his consternation, Pinky Pie absentmindedly turned the weapon aside as she swung around to look around at the other orks with a look of dawning realization on your face.

"Oh no!" she gasped, horrified, "You guys really don't know how to make friends, do you?"

Macka still seemed to be working out whether the Pink Squig of Slaanesh, as he had mentally dubbed her, was insulting him or not. As orks tended to go with the side of the debate that allowed them to cut things to ribbons, Pinkie Pie, or, considering that it _was _Pinkie Pie, quite possibly Macka, was fortunate that Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash showed up before the hulking nob could start swinging his choppa.

"Pinkie!" Rainbow hissed urgently as she clamped her teeth down on her friends mane and led her away, "What are you _doing_?" she managed to demand through her clenched teeth,

"_Dashie_! What're _you_ doing? I'm just trying to make friends…"

"Yes. Because there's just so much that seems friendly about these guys." Twilight jibbed,

"Twilight!" the earth pony scolded, shocked that her friends could be so cruel to these creatures for being different

Before the earth pony could protest further, Twilight used her telekinesis to turn the party ponies head in the direction of the bloody swathe of earth where the orks had killed the manticores; the blood, and a few bits of bone, were all that was left to mark the killing ground; the greenskins had carried off the rest.

"Pinkie…look I don't want to make you freak out, but…"  
>Rainbow Dash spat out her mouthful of mane and blurted,<p>

"They just _killed_ three manticores! In seconds. And then they _ate_ them."

Pinkie seemed taken aback, her wide eyed gaze travelling from the worried faces of her friends, to the slaughter ground where the manticores had died, and then back again. She was silent for a few long moments, face aghast.

And then, just as Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle were convincing themselves that the bubbly earth pony finally grasped the seriousness of the situation they'd found themselves in, Pinkie proclaimed, "Well _duh_. Of course they did!" she said, shaking her head in confusion.

"I…you…_huh_?" Twilight stammered, eye twitching, while Rainbow Dash's jaw did its best to make contact with the ground, "Pinkie, don't you get it, those manticores…"

"Charged in and tried to eat everypony, right?" Pinkie Pie asked, her voice carrying with it an uncharacteristically sharp edge, without giving either of her friends a chance to respond, "So, what did you expect to happen? Everypony makes nice while the manticores eat 'em up?"

"Pinkie…we…when…" Rainbow Dash began, at the same loss for words as Twlight, "Killing! Eating!" she blurted, unsure what else to say,

Pinkie Pie sighed,

"Its not nice to _judge_ ponies y'know. Unless you're a judge, but, since neither of you are wearing a funny wig, you're obviously not one of _those_." She proclaimed, narrowing her eyes, "You're just being meanies."

Rendered quite literally speechless, Twilight's left eye began to twitch while her mouth soundless formed the shapes of words.

"Do you guys remember the Manticore in the Everfree Forest? And how it tried to _kill_ us?" Pinkie continued, leaning in closer to the two mares, her mane seeming to bristle like an angry housecats back hair, "I didn't grow up in city…" she narrowed her eyes at Twilight, "I grew up on a farm…" she turned her narrow eyed gaze to Rainbow Dash, "On the ground…" her mane seemed to deflate as she spoke, "And I know what Manticores…I know what they do to ponies when Fluttershy isn't around."

Twilight looked uncertainly over at Dash; neither pony knew much about Pinkie Pies past, for the normally talkative party mare fell silent whenever she was asked about her life before coming to Ponyville, so neither had any inkling of what tragedy Pinkie was referring too.

Twilight was suddenly torn between concern for her friends sudden mood swing and revelation and the horde of alien killing machines about to rampage into an accursed forest on a joyride.

Character development was put on hold, however, as the horde took center stage when their leader, bellowing at the top of his lungs in what twilight was beginning to think was his normal speaking voice, roared out a curt command, and the bizarre array of mechanical oddities, each stuffed to the gunnels with greenskins and equipment, began to roar out of the clear and along a track in the forest, ripping up the shrubs and small trees near the side of the path as they went.

Rainbow Dash shot up into the air, chasing the orks and shouting,

"Wait! Wait! You're going the wrong way!"

Twilight gazed into Pinkie sad eyes as the party mare turned to watch the orks go,

"I guess they didn't want to be friends after all…"

Unbeknownst to any of the mares, except possible for the unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, who wrote off the odd twinges of dread in her horn as mere nerves from the menagerie of alien fiends she'd been surrounded by, something else hovered in the clearing, swirling through the fallen leaves and blades of grass like a fell wind…or a ghost. But no spirit, no matter how evil, could match the malice and vile intent of the force that had been unleashed upon Equestria. It felt all, saw everything, tasted the very souls of every living creature like a sommelier sampling vintages, while it soul swirled with a thousand thoughts, a million of voices speaking at once, arguing, laughing, whispering, plotting.

It swirled through the clearing seeking it favorite plaything; a living host.

From times long past it knew the green skinned creatures it had arrived on this world with, and knew far too well that even if their simple minds were easy to take, all its temptations and psychic prompts would garner was a curt command to "Stop tellin' me ter do fings!" followed by a punch by its host to his own head…

But these new creatures, however…they had possibilities. Definite possibilities. It gazed at the four ponies near the clearing with a vision no less clear for it having no corporeal form. It saw… envy. Ambition. Drive. Fear. Insanity. And its eternal favorite…curiosity. An inquisitive mind was the easiest to lead down the darkest of paths…

Gleefully the entity whipped through its new playthings teasing, tempting, probing their minds for a weakness…

And it never experienced such an utter rejection. Ambition tempered with loyalty. Fear coupled with a fierce determination. Drive fused with an intense love of fellow creatures.

If it could, the entity would have screamed in frustration as it redoubled its efforts to find a host; rejection, defiance, confusion fear of its very presence, desperately it began to pry at these little ponies minds with the worst horrors they could imagine, their darkest fantasies and nightmares vivid in their heads…no. It was like they hadn't the slightest concept of…_why would I want to use ponies to make cupcakes? Blech. I mean you couldn't even _be _cupcakes if you made cupcakes that way. They'd be savories then, not sweets. Like little meat pies or something. And really, the ingredients in cupcakes would not stand up well, being combined with meat. Turn all mushy and nasty and *glech*, No good. And where would I even _get_ the rendering equipment to turn Dashie into mincemeat? I mean she'd have to be ground up _fine _for me to bake her into something without everypony noticing. Seriously, do any of you have _any _idea how to bake? Or cook? I mean, duh._

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! The spirit wailed, before whipping out of the clearing with enough telekinetic force to ripple leaves.

As Twilight watched Rainbow Dash chase after the orks, she didn't see Pinkie Pie get to her feet as her mane snapped back to its normal poofy state; she did however, nearly jump out of her skin as the pink earth pony bounced past her in pursuit of Rainbow Dash and the greenskins.

"Pinkie! Wait!" the purple unicorn shouted as he cantered to catch up with pinkie, "Are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh yeah."

Twilight 's look of confusion must have spoken volumes, and Pinkie explained further,

"I guess I got a little said, but than this malignant force thing tried to get in my head which gave me an opportunity to tell the bronies something, which I've actually been waiting a long time to say, and I feel soooo much better now , and I'd actually really, really like to thank Ingram for giving me a chance to say it*, I mean I really normally like the bronies, except for all those times when they ship me with Discord, and by the way Twilight if you have any feelings for either of The Princesses…"

"Pinkie"

"…you should really tell them, I think you'd make greaaaat couples, kinda on the fence about you and Dashie though…"

"Pinkie!"

"…and it really is pretty weird how they're always shipping yuri style, I mean…"

"Piiiinnnkieeee!"

The party mare came to a dead stop before turning around, her head tracking back and forth like she was reading something written in thin air,

"Ohhh…little too much wall breakage." She declared.

"Pinkie…_what are you talking about_?"

Pinkie Pie giggled nervously,

"Oh, y'know…being random."

Before Twilight could enquire further the air was rent with the increasingly loud roar of crude engines, until, with an earsplitting racket, the Ork column burst back into the clearing, the various vehicles going flat out as their crazed operators moved ta the recklessly high speeds they so loved.

Twilight and Pinkie moved fast to dodge the nimble swarms of warbikes and buggys that swarmed around the mass of heavy trukks, and the imposing battlewagon at the heart of the green skin column.

They then stood coughing and gaging in the whirlwind of foul fumes and dust kicked up by the convoy as it swarmed off in the right direction, towards the imposing dark glades of the Everfree forest.

Pinkie Pie let out a resounding sneeze as the storm subsided while Twilight rubbed the grit form her eyes and blinked.

"Wow."

The two mares looked over to see Rainbow Dash hovering in midair and covered in the same mixture of dirt, bits of foliage and oily black liquid as they were.

"So…uh. Yeah."

Pinkie sneezed again.

Twilight wondered if the ringing in her ears was going to go away soon.

"Um…excuse me girls."

The trio looked up to see their timid pegasus friend flitter out of the woods, with a creature that seemed to be made of leathery red skin and teeth perched on her back.

As Dash and Twilight stared at the fice biter squig perched on Fluttershy's back, the Pegasus cleared her throat to get their attention,

"I don't mean to be a bother, and I hate to ask…"

Fluttershy's yes blazed with an uncharacteristic fury,  
>"<em>But what the <em>buck_ is going on_?"

"So da forest iz dis; way den? Fer sure now?" the red clad ork driving the battlewagon demanded, eyeing the Warlord dubiously from behind a pair of grimy goggles.

Rashbag enveloped his head in one massive fist and bounced it off the steering yoke, causing the huge vehicle to swerve erratically, spilling the crew all over the control cabin until the driver regained control,

"Don' question da Warlord, Zaggspeed." Rashbag chided, before applying just enough pressure to let the Evil Sunz driver imagine his head popping like a fungus melon, "Got it?"

"Arr…yer boss, I gots it!"

"Gud." Rashbag realesed hi grip, and Zaggspeed relished the feeling of his skull not being crushed, "Now, you lot…" Rashbag turned dramatically, planning to give an appropriately dramatic and frightening address to his throng of under warbosses and space Kaptains…who were all currently back in wherever the zog his empire was. Along with the rest of his boyz. And his wagons. And his Gargants. And his space fleets. As well as his teef and loot hordes, not to mention his prized collection of pre-Imperial era human antiquities.

And so he gazed at the small handful of Nobz assembled from the Ork mobs that made up the warband that had been sucked into boring-arse-squig land, as the Orks called this new world, with him.

Monty and Scragga, being far sharper than the average Orkoid took one look at the murderous glint in their Warlords eye and quietly took a step back in the shadows.

The "Prezident" of the Warbikker mob known as the "Warp Angelz" was smart enough to see that something was up and keep his gob shut.

The newly minted nob of a band of slugga boyz was not so wise however, and snarled a question,

"So's wot da bleedin' 'ell is we gonna do now yer _lordship_?"

Rashbag whipped out a heavy slugga form one of the four holsters on his belt and splattered the unwise nob across the bulkheads with a full magazine of bolter shells.

The Ork warlord sighed happily before tossing the weapon at the corner Monty was hiding in,

"Takes care'a reloading dat shoota, runt." he curtly commanded, before watching the grot scurry off to do his bidding.

"Roight 'den. So, as I saids earlier, "We's gonna get a fortress sets up in dis Eva' Free forest place, we's gonna frag and chop da gits inside's an' den Zogbits izmgonna figure us a way offa dis 'ell 'ole."

Scragga thought of a few dozen questions involving the logistics and practicality of taking the warband into unknown terrain to face completely unknown foes with no knowledge or even notion of resupply, reinforcement or even where the hell they were going, but settled for an offer to take his kommando mob and the warbikers and scout ahead.

Rashbag grudgingly agreed, and, after ascertaining that yes, the battlewagon did have a basic communication system, Scragga sauntered out, with the warbiker leader in tow, too find it and put one of his kommado's I place to shoot the operator if he fell asleep while the scouts tried to call in.

Rashbag grunted in satisfaction and dismissed the assembled nobz, not that they had any way of getting off the battlewagon as it hurtled along at high speed.

He gazed out the foggy windows as the kommandos hopped one at a time off the wagon and unto the bikes that swarmed around it like buzzer squigs to ride double with their riders, before the throng of two wheeled death machines roared off down the dirt track and into the outskirts of the Everfree forest.

All in all, things might just shake out the right way for him and the boyz…

_Some distance away, in the Equestrian capital of Canterlot…_

Princess Celstia paced down a corridor, her normally serene gaze darting back and forth as a particularly urgent feeling of unease sat somewhere in the back of her mind; a feeling of something going wrong building for hours, leading the Sun Princess to endlessly pace the halls and rooms of her castle, checking the headquarters of the Equestria's small army every few moments to check for dispatches warning of trouble, sticking her head into chambers of her archivists as they poured over prophecies, sayings and the idle gossip of ancient oracles on their Princesses' orders in search of some arcane reference to this day; so far they'd come up with nothing but a stern warning from a manehatten fortune teller made some four hundred years ago. Unfortunately, it was only an angrily worded and oddly specific caution against eating mushrooms. The Princess sighed for what moight have been the hundredth time that day and cantered forward a little quicker, her hoofalls echoing in the hallway.

Suddenly, a heavy onyx colored door swung open just as Celestia passed by, earning a shriek and a jump from her.

In the darkened portal her sister looked back at her, her starry, elemental mane bunched around her head as she regarded her sister with sleepy eyes;

"Something wrong then?" she asked, yawning.

Before Celestia could answer, a burst of green fire erupted near her mane and a scroll dropped unto the stone floor at her hooves.

Ignoring her sister temporarily, Celestia wrapped the scroll in her magic and tore it open, hastily reading the latest letter from her student, her face growing grimmer with every line as everything fell into place, and she realized when and where she had felt the growing unease before.

"Sister?" Luna asked, concerned.

"Luna. We seem to have more visitors. From the same place as the others."

The Moon Princess cocked her head, raising a brow in confusion.

"Celsetia, what do you mean?"

"The same place that sent us those armored butchers a thousand years ago, sister."

Luna's eyes widened in fear,

"I shall fetch my armor. I recommend you do the same, and rally thy guardponies."

Celestia nodded,

"Where art these uninvited guests?" Luna asked next,

"The Everfree, dear sister. And before we go hence, we shall speak with my student in Ponyville. It seems she has first hoof knowledge of these beasts."

*A/N: You're welcome Pinkie


End file.
